“Are you having a bad day or…”
“…is it something I did (or said)?”
The above question can be used in any number of situations when you get the sense that the other person on the other end of the phone or email or standing in front of you, isn’t happy with you or your question or request.
As an assistant, you’re going to be asking people to do their own individual jobs all day long to get what you need done for your boss. Whether that person is the travel agent, IT help guy (or gal), person in accounting dealing with expense reports or anyone else who you might come in contact with if you sense them not being happy with you, you should ask the above question.
By asking the question you get one of two things:
- You give them an out to say, “Yeah, I’m having a bad day, sorry for my attitude.”… OR…
- You’ll find our real quick if it is something that you in fact did that made them give you their attitude.
You see, you can’t fix a problem or issue with someone else if you don’t know one exists so finding out the answer to that above question is your first step to creating a solid working relationship. We know that confrontation can be hard but if you ask the right question and give the person you’re dealing with an out, you will both be better off for it… and you’ll be surprised at how quickly that attitude you noticed earlier will disappear.
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What a great question. I can think of so many instances where asking this question would have solved soon-to-be-problems, either for myself or for someone else. It sounds like a simple concept, but I’ve very rarely seen people utilize it.
I found this site on Twitter from Men with Pens, and I’m excited about the information here. I can’t wait to see it develop, and I’m already looking forward to more posts!
Thanks Cheryl! MenwithPens.ca has been nothing short of amazing… we asked for the world and they delivered. If you have anything specifically related to the world of assisting that you would like to see a post on, let us know and we’ll see what we can do.
Is the advice the same if it is an e-mail relationship… I have a client who is always seems snippy over e-mail…we rarely talk on the phone, and the chances of us meeting are slim… I sometimes find it very hard to deal with…
Absolutely… even more so since you can’t hear tone of voice in an email. I would reply to the client by asking if they’re swamped and having a bad day, did you do something wrong or are you reading too much into their email? With these three questions, you’re giving them two outs by either blaming their ‘tude on themselves, just brush it off as a joke or maybe there is a conversation that needs to be had between the two of you to clear the air.
I would bet that it’s them and that you’ll see a difference in how they communicate in the future. If you do this, stop back and let us know how things turned out.
Sure, Ethan! I’ve got a big one for ya (or maybe not so big…but it’s big in my head). How do you sell yourself as an assistant to a company that currently has no assistant positions? Or simply sell the idea of an assistant to a company that is starting to expand and might not have a full grasp of how crazy things might get for them in the near future?
Thanks Ethan- I will give it a try and let you know how it goes…
Thanks for this…sometimes personality differences can affect your interactions with your manager. I am currently working as an assistant for a woman younger than myself (I’m 46) and occasionally I get the clipped, short answers that would ordinarily make me think I’d done something wrong. I did ask - though not in the same way as this article suggested (it was before I found AdminSecret) and it’s just her communication style. I had to try hard NOT to take it personally, because it really didn’t have anything to do with me. We’re from different cultures, so that was part of it. I encourage assistants to look at ALL factors, then if you still can’t figure it out, definately use this technique to find out what’s going on…